Showing posts with label quotes/passages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes/passages. Show all posts

Saturday, November 5, 2011

A Mother's Prayer for Its Daughter

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half
And stick with Beer.
Guide her, protect her.
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop”, “Tower of Torture”, or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Ball featuring Aerosmith”, and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.
Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes.
And not have to wear high heels.
What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking you, because if I kknew, I’d be doing it, Youdamnit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.
Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long,
For Childhood is short-a Tiger Flower blooming in Magenta for one day-
And Adulthood is long and Dry-Humping in cars will wait.
O Lord, break the Internet forever,
That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers
And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister,
Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends,
For I will not have that Shit, I will not have it.
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord,
That I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50AM, all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.
“My mother did this for me once”, she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget.
But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God Eyes.
Amen.
Bossypants, Page 261-263 (according to Kindle)

An excerpt from Bossypants, the hilarious work of Tina Fey. I read it a few months ago and LOVED it. I was just clicking through my Kindle for a new book to read and stumbled across my highlight of this prayer. I had to share, I love it so much. Seriously, buy this book! It’s one of my favorites of the year.
Note, I realize this might give people the wrong idea. No, I’m not becoming a mother. I just laughed out loud at this excerpt and SO many other pages of the book that I had to share. But if and when I do become a mother, this doesn’t seem too far off the mark of what I would be thinking.
For now, though, I’m telling you again to check out this book. Tina Fey is an incredible writer who wraps her life story with so much dry humor and wit. I’m tempted to go back and read it all over again just for a good laugh.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Quotes for Saturday

It is not a matter of four bare legs in a bed and the business done. She will have to learn to obey him. Not in the grand things, any woman can put on a bit of a show. But in the thousand petty compromises that come to a wife every day. The thousand times a day when one has to bite the lip and bow the head and not argue in public, nor in private, nor even in the quiet recesses of one's own mind.

-The Boleyn Inheritance



If the marriage ceremony consisted in an oath and signed contract between the parties to cease loving from that day forward, in consideration of personal possession being given, and to avoid each other's society as much as possible in public, there would be more loving couples than there are now. Fancy the secret meetings between the perjuring husband and wife, the denials of having seen each other, the clambering in at bedroom windows, and the hiding in closets! There'd be little cooling then.

-Jude the Obscure



He once called her his basil plant; and when she asked for an explanation, said that basil was a plant which has flourished wonderfully on a murdered man's brains.

-Middlemarch



These moments of loving, of caring and kindness, of knowing exactly why we married each other and exactly why we plan to be together until death us do part seem so rare these days. I didn't expect the first months after having a baby to be so hard, didn't expect a child to come between us instead of pulling us closer together. I suppose that if anyone had warned me, warned of the exhaustion, the lonliness, the loss of identity, I would either have thought they were lying or assumed that it may happen to other women, other couples, but wouldn't happen to us. But of course it does happen to me, does happen to us. Those first few weeks are terrible, and send me to bed most nights with my back turned to Dan, the result of yet another argument, more unspoken resentments that erupt late at night in a show of fierce words and raised voices. For I am the one who gets up each night with Tom. Several times a night. I am the one who is unable to even get out of my pajamas, having to walk my colicky son up and down the stairs to keep him from screaming. I am the one who deposits him in his father's arms on the weekend so that I can have a break, swiftly reclaiming him when I see, with mounting exasperation, that Dan has no idea how to soothe his own son. And I am the one who is filled with anger, and resentment, and just plain damned exhaustion. Who has desperately started to miss going to work, but who could not deal with leaving her son for an afternoon, let alone an entire week, and who has made the decision to stay at home with Tom...Dan doesn't understand. Couldn't understand. Not when he leaves the house each morning and spends the rest of the day with grown-ups talking about grown-up things and not having to take responsibility for anyone other than himself. Not when he is still perceived by everyone who knows him as the same old Dan Cooper, producer extraordinaire, who just happens to now have a son. He could never understand what it is to lose your identity, to go from being a professional, successfully woman to someone who is screamed at just because she is behind the wheel of a four-wheel drive. He could never understand what it is like to maneuver a tired, screaming baby in a stroller through the narrow aisles of a supermarket, trying to avoid people who stare at you and the baby in disgust, wo even stop you to tell you that you shouldn't bring a baby to the supermarket. The crowds rush to help Dan on the rare occasions he will take Tom out for a walk on a Sunday morning, so charmed are they by the sight of a man with a baby. He could never understand, and I shouldn't blame him, but I do.

-The Other Woman



Maybe it's because I married young and had to stomach the comments and sometimes not-so-silent doubts that I was being foolishly immature. Maybe it's because I went through most of my literature classes being one of few married individuals in the classroom, bringing a different experience into any discussions of marriage, gender, or family life. Maybe it's because it's one of the closest relationships two people can have. Maybe it's because things like gender constructions, prejudices, self-images, and ethical and moral beliefs all filter into this small duo.

I don't know why exactly, but the discussion of marriage in literature fascinates me. How it works. How it doesn't. What women and men were expected to do in Victorian England. What they do now. The disparities between each person's expectations. I could go on and on. I was digging through my Kindle clippings, and almost all of them pertained to marriage and family. When I go back for my masters and eventually PhD, I have a strong feeling marriage will factor into my writings pretty prominently. It factors into my reading selection most days.

I'm not really making a point or doing anything in particular with this post, just wanted to share some quotes that have stuck out to me in my readings. While they aren't exactly upbeat and positive portrayals of marriage, obviously not every marriage is happy these days. Or back in the day. Or any day really.

Since I've got marriage on the brain, I should get off the computer and go spend some quality time with my handsome husband :)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

American Wife



I bought this book up almost a year ago at Borders, after a handful of times of picking it up, reading the back and contemplating, then putting it back in favor of something else. I bought it a few weeks before a semester started, got 100 pages in, then had to put it aside for school books. I finally got the chance to restart and actually finish it. And I loved it.

I had no idea this was based on Laura Bush when I picked it up. I might not have if I had known, I'm not a big political person. I don't like to talk politics, share my beliefs, or read/hear too deeply about others' beliefs. But this book was fiction so I didn't think anything of it. Based on the book, I think I'd love Laura Bush. I know nothing of her true self, besides being a First Lady. But in the book she's an avid reader, a shy and rather introspective person, born and raised in the Midwest, marries into a boisterous family, works as a librarian because she loves reading to kids, and so on. Basically, I saw a lot of myself in this Alice Lindgren.

The first two sections of the book follow a basic fiction plotline-showing how she grew up and became Mrs. Bush (er, Blackwell). I was drawn in from the beginning (I love her grandma, who does nothing but read and smoke). The third section was the most intriguing, because in it she, Alice, questions her husband's choices in "the war", their decisions and choices leading up to and through the presidency, what it means to become famous and how she deals with it, what a marriage really is and what it asks of the two people in it, and a lot of other big picture topics. As Alice, she doesn't give a lot of answers, just poses the questions, which I find more intriguing. She does answer some things, like why she decided to stay married and how she keeps herself sane despite all the news and tabloids.

I have no idea how much this Alice Lundgren/Blackwell character lines up with Laura Bush, but she's a really powerful character. Maybe I think so because I find myself relating so much to her, but I think anyone can see her as such.

The one thing that distracted me is the author herself. Although the book is written through Alice's eyes and she is a self-proclaimed Democrat, I felt like it was more so the author's self-proclaimed liberal views showing through in a lot of the political content. There wasn't a lot of positive representation of Republican people or beliefs, despite the book being full of them. And each time she did discuss Bush's (Blackwell's) decisions in his presidency, the people he chose to work with, his stance on the war, etc., she displayed him in a negative light, at least in my opinion. The criticism was often through Alice's eyes, but for me, it read as the author's criticisms being pushed into the novel. Charlie Blackwell, aka George Bush, doesn't get much of a chance to show the different sides of his personality, especially during the presidential section of the book. Sittenfeld repeatedly tried to show how endearing Charlie's character was through Alice's eyes, but it felt condescending rather than honest some of the time. Maybe it's impossible to write a book about politics without inserting your own beliefs, but I found it distracting.

Otherwise, I really did love this book. And I love the character Alice Lundgren. And I'm tempted to get some Laura Bush biographies now, just to see how much of her is in this character.

And because I related to the book so much, I marked passages all over the place, so I figured I'd share a few to give you a taste of the writing and characters.

At such moments, I felt that we were like the people in California who live in enormous houses on the sides of cliffs, that our lives are beautiful but precarious, their foundations vulnerable...Life was so hard for so many people, the odds were stacked so precipitously against them. The other adults I knew did not seem overly distressed about the imbalances, and certainly not surprised by them, whereas to me they were constantly surprising, they were never not upsetting.

I did not care if Ella went to Princeton, if she was exceptionally pretty, if she grew up to marry a rich man, or really, if she married at all--there were many incarnations of her I felt confident I could embrace, a hippie or a housewife or a career woman. But what I did care about, what I wanted most fervently, was for her to understand that hard work paid off, that decency begat decency, that humility was not a raincoat you occasionally pulled on when you thought conditions called for it, but rather a constant way of existing in the world, knowing that good and bad luck touched everyone and none of us was fully responsible for our fortunes or tragedies. Above all, I wanted my daughter to understand that many people were guided by bitterness and that it was best to avoid these individuals--their moods and behavior were a hornet's nest you had no possible reason to do anything other than bypass and ignore.


(This last one is long, but I couldn't pass it up, being a Midwest girl at heart. And agreeing full heartedly with the whole 3 paragraph passage.)

Then we were back in Wisconsin, a place that in late summer is thrillingly beautiful. When I was young, this was knowledge shared by everyone around me; as an adult, I've never stopped being surprised by how few of the people with whom I interact have any true sense of the states between Pennsylvania and Colorado. Some of these people have spent weeks or months working in such states, but unless they're midwesterners too, to them the region is nothing but polling numbers and caucuses...these people eat at Perkins, and then they complain about the quality of the restaurants.

Admittedly, the area possesses a dowdiness I personally have always found comforting, but to think of Wisconsin specifically or the Midwest as a whole as anything other than beautiful is to ignore the extraordinary power of the land. The lushness of the grass and trees in August, the roll of the hills (far less of the Midwest is flat than outsiders seem to imagine), that rich smell of soil, the evening sunlight over a field of wheat, or the crickets chirping at dusk on a residential street; All of it, it has always made me feel at peace. There is room to breathe, there is a realness of place. The seasons are extreme, but they pass and return, pass and return, and the world seems far steadier than it does from the vantage point of a coastal city.

Certainly picturesque towns can be found in New England or California or the Pacific Northwest, but I can't shake the sense that they're too picturesque. On the East Coast, especially, these places--Princeton, New Jersey, say, or Farmington, Connecticut--seem to me aggressively quaint, unbecomingly smug, and even xenophobic, downright paranoid in their wariness of those who might somehow infringe upon the local charm. I suspect this wariness is tied to the high cost of real estate, the fear that there might not be enough space or money and what there is of both must be clung to and defended. The West Coast, I think, has a similar self-regard--all that talk of proximity to the ocean and the mountains--and a beauty that I can't help seeing as showy-offy. But the Midwest: It is quietly lovely, not preening with the need to have its attributes remarked on. It is the place I am calmest and most myself.

I really think you'd enjoy this book! It balances the political with growing up, life decisions, marriage and babies, friendships, and all the other things that make politics bearable. And Alice Lindgren/Blackwell is one of my favorite characters in a long time.

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