Mil-Spouse Friday Fill-In

Another round of milspouse questions! Join the fun at Wife of a Sailor.




1. Do you think civilians, in general, understand the meaning of Memorial Day?

As a whole, probably not. Let's face it, there are a whole lot of people that are just ignorant about a lot of things in this world. But I wouldn't write off just anyone who doesn't have a direct tie to the military. Just because I haven't personally been to a war zone and experienced those things doesn't mean I don't appreciate those who have done those incredible things for us, and my empathy has nothing to do with my husband and his military affiliations. I think it's a different understanding when you're closely connected to the military world, but the awareness and support can come from anywhere.


2. What are your plans for the Memorial Day Weekend?

Relaxing! Grilling, getting out in the sunshine, enjoying some nice weather. Oh, and avoiding any weather hazards from the typhoon that's headed in the direction of Japan. We should only get the tail end, so we're expecting some storms.


3. What skill/talent do you wish you had?

I wish I could be able to walk into a room and make friends with everyone. That easy confidence that makes you approachable and comfortable with perfect strangers. My shyness comes and goes, but it's never easy for me to meet new people and I never feel like I'm making friends with someone I just met. I'm always a little awed by people who can do that so easily and frequently. I want to be socially comfortable!


4. Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

Yeah, I don't really care. Some eggs of some earlier species probably had some weird mutation that turned those eggs into chicken-like creatures, which continued to breed and evolve until the chicken species developed. Woo, science.


5. What is the best thing about your post (base)? The worst?

Hmm. Best is probably the support system built in. There are a ton of recreation activities every weekend; there are a ton of support systems built into the command; there are all sorts of places to go if you need help that will actually help you. I think being overseas is a huge reason behind this, but it's a world away from our last base. The worst is probably the fact that we are Navy on an Air Force base. In an ideal world, the opportunity for both branches to work together and learn together would lead to a more productive base. In reality, there's a lot of politics and favoritism. Not from the commands in general, but from individuals. The Navy and Air Force obviously work differently sometimes, so it gets confusing when things are phrased differently and things are done differently. Some people embrace the diversity, and some people don't, which makes life more frustrating for the rest of us. That's a problem that doesn't bother me daily though. I don't have too many complaints about our current base actually.






Happy Memorial Day!

Homemade Soft Pretzels

A few weeks ago, I took my yeast adventures to a new level and tried homemade soft pretzels. I had made pizza dough successfully, so I figured why not?



Oh my goodness, they were good. I used Annie's Eats' recipe, and found it easy to follow and delicious.

Some notes from my experience:
-It would be a lot easier to do with a stand mixer. I mixed by hand, which probably didn't mix the dough as thoroughly. It liked to split and pull apart when I tried to roll it out and shape the pretzels. You can see the splits in the finished product.
-The recipe makes it sound pretty easy to separate, roll out, and shape the dough. It was more time consuming than I expected. Maybe it's just my inexperience, but it was a lot of work for 8 pretzels.
-They look pretty wimpy until you put them in the baking soda and boiling water. This plumps them up before they go in the oven.
-Really coat the pretzels with the egg wash. I didn't do it very thickly and they didn't brown like I was expecting, so they were a tad too crisp.
-I didn't have kosher salt, so I left them unsalted. I like unsalted pretzels anyways, though.
-They didn't turn out as pretty as Annie's, but they tasted darn good so I didn't mind.



-They are absolutely delicious.
-The recipe makes eight and I ate them all in a weekend. For lunch, snack, and dinner. Delicious.
-You should try it! Mine weren't perfect and took more time than I expected, but oh they were so good.



I took Annie's suggestion and froze the leftovers. Then I just heated them in the microwave for a minute or until warm, and they tasted soft and delicious. If I were to make these for a party or something, I would definitely take this route.

I prefer mine with spicy jalapeno cheddar cheese dip. I also used sour cream as a topping when I ran out of cheese. No pretzel is complete without some kind of dip!





Finding these pictures on my computer makes me drool a little, and makes me want to make them again. Maybe I'll need to find a chunk of time to play with yeast again? Maybe some caffeine too if I attempt these before next weekend...

Quotes for Saturday

It is not a matter of four bare legs in a bed and the business done. She will have to learn to obey him. Not in the grand things, any woman can put on a bit of a show. But in the thousand petty compromises that come to a wife every day. The thousand times a day when one has to bite the lip and bow the head and not argue in public, nor in private, nor even in the quiet recesses of one's own mind.

-The Boleyn Inheritance

If the marriage ceremony consisted in an oath and signed contract between the parties to cease loving from that day forward, in consideration of personal possession being given, and to avoid each other's society as much as possible in public, there would be more loving couples than there are now. Fancy the secret meetings between the perjuring husband and wife, the denials of having seen each other, the clambering in at bedroom windows, and the hiding in closets! There'd be little cooling then.

-Jude the Obscure

He once called her his basil plant; and when she asked for an explanation, said that basil was a plant which has flourished wonderfully on a murdered man's brains.

-Middlemarch

These moments of loving, of caring and kindness, of knowing exactly why we married each other and exactly why we plan to be together until death us do part seem so rare these days. I didn't expect the first months after having a baby to be so hard, didn't expect a child to come between us instead of pulling us closer together. I suppose that if anyone had warned me, warned of the exhaustion, the lonliness, the loss of identity, I would either have thought they were lying or assumed that it may happen to other women, other couples, but wouldn't happen to us. But of course it does happen to me, does happen to us. Those first few weeks are terrible, and send me to bed most nights with my back turned to Dan, the result of yet another argument, more unspoken resentments that erupt late at night in a show of fierce words and raised voices. For I am the one who gets up each night with Tom. Several times a night. I am the one who is unable to even get out of my pajamas, having to walk my colicky son up and down the stairs to keep him from screaming. I am the one who deposits him in his father's arms on the weekend so that I can have a break, swiftly reclaiming him when I see, with mounting exasperation, that Dan has no idea how to soothe his own son. And I am the one who is filled with anger, and resentment, and just plain damned exhaustion. Who has desperately started to miss going to work, but who could not deal with leaving her son for an afternoon, let alone an entire week, and who has made the decision to stay at home with Tom...Dan doesn't understand. Couldn't understand. Not when he leaves the house each morning and spends the rest of the day with grown-ups talking about grown-up things and not having to take responsibility for anyone other than himself. Not when he is still perceived by everyone who knows him as the same old Dan Cooper, producer extraordinaire, who just happens to now have a son. He could never understand what it is to lose your identity, to go from being a professional, successfully woman to someone who is screamed at just because she is behind the wheel of a four-wheel drive. He could never understand what it is like to maneuver a tired, screaming baby in a stroller through the narrow aisles of a supermarket, trying to avoid people who stare at you and the baby in disgust, wo even stop you to tell you that you shouldn't bring a baby to the supermarket. The crowds rush to help Dan on the rare occasions he will take Tom out for a walk on a Sunday morning, so charmed are they by the sight of a man with a baby. He could never understand, and I shouldn't blame him, but I do.

-The Other Woman



Maybe it's because I married young and had to stomach the comments and sometimes not-so-silent doubts that I was being foolishly immature. Maybe it's because I went through most of my literature classes being one of few married individuals in the classroom, bringing a different experience into any discussions of marriage, gender, or family life. Maybe it's because it's one of the closest relationships two people can have. Maybe it's because things like gender constructions, prejudices, self-images, and ethical and moral beliefs all filter into this small duo.

I don't know why exactly, but the discussion of marriage in literature fascinates me. How it works. How it doesn't. What women and men were expected to do in Victorian England. What they do now. The disparities between each person's expectations. I could go on and on. I was digging through my Kindle clippings, and almost all of them pertained to marriage and family. When I go back for my masters and eventually PhD, I have a strong feeling marriage will factor into my writings pretty prominently. It factors into my reading selection most days.

I'm not really making a point or doing anything in particular with this post, just wanted to share some quotes that have stuck out to me in my readings. While they aren't exactly upbeat and positive portrayals of marriage, obviously not every marriage is happy these days. Or back in the day. Or any day really.

Since I've got marriage on the brain, I should get off the computer and go spend some quality time with my handsome husband :)

Heart of the Matter

Tessa Russo is a stay-at-home mother of two young children and the wife of a renowned pediatric surgeon. Valerie Anderson is an attorney and single mother to six-year-old Charlie—a boy who has never known his father. Although both women live in the same Boston suburb, they are strangers to one another and have little in common, aside from a fierce love for their children. But one night, a tragic accident causes their lives to converge in ways no one could have imagined.

This is the moving, luminous story of good people caught in untenable circumstances. Each being tested in ways they never thought possible. Each questioning everything they once believed. And each ultimately discovering what truly matters most.


I loved this book. It has a touchy subject matter: cheating. A lot of people have very specific black and white feelings on adultery. I do not. I think every situation is different and what works or doesn't work for one person is a different story entirely from the next person. I don't think anything in a cheating situation, especially in a long-term marriage, is simple or black and white. I don't think one person can shoulder all the blame. I don't have a lot of ideas and beliefs about the whole situation honestly. It's one of those parts of life. You just never know what's going on behind someone else's closed doors.

Regardless, it's easy to blame the mistress or the wandering eye of the husband. And it happens a lot in movies and books. Giffin presents the situation in a different way though. You don't just get the wife's story, you get both women's stories. You connect and feel for both of them, then get confronted with this terrible triangle. I felt compassion for the husband too, even though he doesn't narrate in the novel.

Through showing all the complicated and very gray sides of the situation, Giffin forces you to confront any stereotypes or judgments you've already made about adultery. It was really interesting reading this. I kept wanting to place the blame in someone's camp, but not being able to. Although the situation is wrong and both Valerie and Nick know that, it's hard not to see how the pieces fall into place and commiserate with the strong emotions. Even though I felt like I should be writing Valerie off as a whore or something equally degrading, the way Giffin presents her character makes that impossible. At least for me. And the marriage between Tessa and Nick is anything but simple. I think Giffin did a fantastic job showing the complexity and progression of a marriage, from Tessa's memories of their first dates and first years of marriage to the way they run from day to day in the novel. And their marriage isn't the only one under the microscope. Tessa's brother, Dex, (Dex and Rachel from Something Borrowed!), Tessa's parents, Nick's parents, and Tessa's friends all get the same treatment. Giffin explores what glues their marriage together or what made it come crashing down. It's really interesting to see all the variations. Like I said, I think her portrayal of marriages is realistically complex and complicated. No marriage is perfect, except for maybe Dex and Rachel.

This is a novel you have to have an open mind about. If you come into it ready to hate Valerie for becoming interested in Nick or judge Tessa for thinking before she tears apart her marriage, the book is going to be terrible. I think it's meant to be taken as an exploration of these situations and decisions which are anything but black and white and simple. And I think she did a fantastic job exploring.

I think Something Borrowed is still my favorite book of Giffin's, but this is definitely number two.



Sharing this quote, because I absolutely love it.

It occurs to me that she is not unique--that all women compare lives. We are aware of whose husband works more, who helps more around the house, who makes more money, who is having more sex. We compare our children, taking note of who is sleeping through the night, eating their vegetables, minding their manners, getting into the right schools. We know who keeps the best house, throws the best parties, cooks the best meals, has the best tennis game. We know who among us is the smartest, has the fewest lines around her eyes, has the best figure--whether naturally or artificially. We are aware of who works full-time, who stays at home with the kids, who manages to do it all and make it look easy, who shops and lunches while the nanny does it all. We digest it all and then discuss it with our friends. Comparing and then confiding; it is what women do. The difference, I think, lies in why we do it. Are we doing it to gauge our own life and reassure ourselves that we fall within the realm of normal? Or are we being competitive, relishing others' shortcomings so that we can win, if only by default?

Chocolate!

I know I said I was going to be scarce, but then I went to upload a picture I took and discovered 50 more on my camera. How'd that happen?

Anyways.

Did you know my husband is addicted to sweets? He can't function more than a few days without some sugar in his blood at bedtime. Did you know I didn't eat very many sweets before I moved in with him? My indulgence used to be things like french fries and chips and dip and loads of soda. Then he begged for a sweet every day, and I started enjoying baking. And now I indulge in both. Maybe not the smartest idea!

But who can resist warm-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookies?



I consider myself fairly adequate in most food adventures. I can cook some good things from recipes, but I'm no chef. I also don't burn down the kitchen, or even the food for the most part. I generally prefer to bake from a box rather than deal with all the ingredients.

But not with cookies.

My dad taught me fractions by doubling the recipe on the back of the Nestle bag. He let me mix the batter when I was still too young to touch the oven. He taught me that being the baker gives you the freedom to taste your batter. He taught me just how important precise measurements are in baking, even if my patience is tested. He taught me to take cookies out of the oven before they really look done, otherwise they'll turn crunchy. He taught me to make really good chocolate chip cookies.



My husband loves that that was part of my childhood. He practically drools waiting for me to pull them out of the oven.

I found a tip online that cookie batter freezes really well, so I tried it this time. I made a couple dozen, then froze the rest. When we inhaled those, I made a dozen. When we inhaled those, I made the last dozen. It was so easy to pull the dough out of the freezer and let it thaw, then throw it into the oven for fresh, warm, freshly baked deliciousness. No flour mess, no mixer, no time at all!

I wish we didn't eat cookies so quickly in this household so I still had some batter in the freezer. Alas, it's all gone. And finding these pictures on my camera after the fact is depressing. But I do have some coffee flavored ice cream instead, and that is almost as tasty with even less prep work. Works for me after a long day.

Until I have time to make more cookies anyways!

Monday Pick-Me-Up

Mondays are always long. The morning comes too quickly, and the day drags on from there.

But a picture can make you smile. Or a cat who thinks she has no spine.


_{This picture is from 2009, but she continues to ignore her spine daily.}

The Girl Who Played with Fire

My review of this book is no different than thousands that are already out in the world. If you haven't started this series, you need to pick it up and start reading right now!

It's great, and the second book is even better than the first. I bought the first book a year and a half ago and it took some time to sink into Larsson's Swedish history and some of the weird words and phrases (being translated from Swedish probably explains that), but once I did, I loved. Salander is an incredible woman with such a complex personality. I'd be incredibly intimidated by her in person, but she's mesmerizing in text.

This book dug much deeper into her life than the previous one. It was interesting to start to learn what made her who she is, which is such a different person than anyone else in the book or really, anywhere. As expected, the suspense and intensity of the murder mystery and deadly cat and mouse game made me bury my head in the book to see what happened next instead of doing dishes or laundry or anything that took me away from the story. I was hooked, and finished it in only a couple days.

I really don't have anything new to add to the discussion of this book or series. Loved it, can't wait to read the third, unique enough to stand out against similar murder/suspense novels. I already convinced my brother to pick up the books on his next Amazon book shopping trip. He mistakenly thought it was akin to Twilight since they were always displayed close to each other in bookstores, and I very quickly dispelled that theory. I know it's one of those everyone is talking about, but if you haven't heard you should really consider picking the books up. Today. Amazon ships quickly and reliably.

I've Got my Eye on You

One problem with flying through books like The Girl who Played with Fire is that I'm left with the hassle of picking another book! I have a shelf full of classics in the office waiting to be read, everything from Sherlock Holmes stories to My Antonia, but I'm not in the mood for classics at the moment. So I went to my next favorite bookshelf: Amazon.

I have a mile long wishlist of books at Amazon. I get lost in the "customers who bought/viewed this item also bought/viewed" links. The prices are unbeatable unless you like spending hours scouring used bookstores. I do, but don't have any at my disposle. Unless I manage to read a book in Japanese, which is highly doubtful.

Anyways, since I've been blogging about books a lot more recently (do you actually enjoy my book topics? I still face withdrawals at the absence of class discussion at the end of a book), I figured I'd include what I've been browsing and marking on my "to-read" list. I may start reading one of these in the next 24 hours, or I may just go for a classic and always satisfying love story by Nora Roberts or someone similar. I can't decide.

(All images are linked to Amazon pages. Editorial reviews are in italics, my own opinions follow)






The author's own words: Most of us know or think we know who Ernest Hemingway was -- a brilliant writer full of macho swagger, driven to take on huge feats of bravery and a pitcher or two of martinis -- before lunch. But beneath this man or myth, or some combination of the two, is another Hemingway, one we’ve never seen before. Hadley Richardson, Hemingway’s first wife, is the perfect person to reveal him to us -- and also to immerse us in the incredibly exciting and volatile world of Jazz-age Paris. The idea to write in Hadley’s voice came to me as I was reading Hemingway’s memoir, A Moveable Feast, about his early years in Paris. In the final pages, he writes of Hadley, “I wished I had died before I ever loved anyone but her.” That line, and his portrayal of their marriage -- so tender and poignant and steeped in regret -- inspired me to search out biographies of Hadley, and then to research their brief and intense courtship and letters -- they wrote hundreds and hundreds of pages of delicious pages to another! I couldn’t help but fall in love with Hadley, and through her eyes, with the young Ernest Hemingway. He was just twenty when they met, handsome and magnetic, passionate and sensitive and full of dreams. I was surprised at how much I liked and admired him -- and before I knew it, I was entirely swept away by their gripping love story. I hope you will be as captivated by this remarkable couple as I am -- and by the fascinating world of Paris in the 20’s, the fast-living, ardent and tremendously driven Lost Generation.

I stumbled upon this book today, and I'm incredibly intrigued. I haven't read much Hemingway, but I always want to dig into authors' lives a little and figure out what makes them tick and what makes them write stories that last for decades. The author's interest and extensive research sounds like it'd make for an interesting novel. Add Paris and the 20's into the mix, and it sounds like a really entertaining and interesting read!






Printing presses whirr, ashtrays smolder, and the endearing complexity of humanity plays out in Tom Rachman's debut novel, The Imperfectionists. Set against the backdrop of a fictional English-language newspaper based in Rome, it begins as a celebration of the beloved and endangered role of newspapers and the original 24/7 news cycle. Yet Rachman pushes beyond nostalgia by crafting an apologue that better resembles a modern-day Dubliners than a Mad Men exploration of the halcyon past. The chaos of the newsroom becomes a stage for characters unified by a common thread of circumstance, with each chapter presenting an affecting look into the life of a different player. From the comically overmatched greenhorn to the forsaken foreign correspondent, we suffer through the painful heartbreaks of unexpected tragedy and struggle to stifle our laughter in the face of well-intentioned blunders. This cacophony of emotion blends into a single voice, as the depiction of a paper deemed a "daily report on the idiocy and the brilliance of the species" becomes more about the disillusion in everyday life than the dissolution of an industry.

This one's been marked on my wish list for a few weeks months. I've never been a big newspaper reader, but it is a special kind of writing ability to be able to knock out story after story day after day. Getting lost in that world sounds like a perfect place to be. Not to mention it's set in Rome.






It all begins with a lost manuscript, a reluctant witch, and 1,500-year-old vampire. Dr. Diana Bishop has a really good reason for refusing to do magic: she is a direct descendant of the first woman executed in the Salem Witch Trials, and her parents cautioned her be discreet about her talents before they were murdered, presumably for having "too much power." So it is purely by accident that Diana unlocks an enchanted long-lost manuscript (a book that all manner of supernatural creatures believe to hold the story of all origins and the secret of immortality) at the Bodleian Library at Oxford, and finds herself in a race to prevent an interspecies war. A sparkling debut written by a historian and self-proclaimed oenophile, A Discovery of Witches is heady mix of history and magic, mythology, and love (cue the aforementioned vampire!), making for a luxurious, intoxicating, one-sitting read.

I'm not a huge science fiction person. I'd rather read about a real person than a vampire or witch, but this one sounds intriguing. It sounds much more interesting than Twilight-esque fantastic stories (yes, I have actually read the series, I'm really not a fan). It sounds like a good read, and sometimes it's fun to get lost in fantastical situations that you yourself will never be in, unlike a love story that may become all too real!






Jonathan Tropper writes compulsively readable, laugh-out-loud funny novels, and his fifth book, This Is Where I Leave You is his best yet. Judd Foxman is oscillating between a sea of self-pity and a "snake pit of fury and resentment" in the aftermath of the explosion of his marriage, which ended "the way these things do: with paramedics and cheesecake." Foxman is jobless (after finding his wife in bed with his boss) and renting out the basement of a "crappy house" when he is called home to sit shiva for his father--who, incidentally, was an atheist. This of course means seven days in his parent's house with his exquisitely dysfunctional family, including his mom, a sexy, "I've-still-got-it" shrink fond of making horrifying TMI statements; his older sister, Wendy, and her distracted hubby and three kids; his snarky older brother, Paul, and his wife; and his youngest brother, Phillip, the "Paul McCartney of our family: better-looking than the rest of us, always facing a different direction in pictures, and occasionally rumored to be dead." Tropper is wickedly funny, a master of the cutting one-liner that makes you both cringe and crack up. But what elevates his novels and makes him a truly splendid writer is his ability to create fantastically flawed, real characters who stay with you long after the book is over. Simultaneously hilarious and hopeful, This Is Where I Leave You is as much about a family's reckoning as it is about one man's attempt to get it together.

I found this one today too. I've never heard of the book or the author before, but the quotes in the review caught my eye. If his whole book is as sharp and witty as those quick comments, I'll be laughing the whole way through.






It's the beginning of a lazy summer in 1950 at the sleepy English village of Bishop's Lacey. Up at the great house of Buckshaw, aspiring chemist Flavia de Luce passes the time tinkering in the laboratory she's inherited from her deceased mother and an eccentric great uncle. When Flavia discovers a murdered stranger in the cucumber patch outside her bedroom window early one morning, she decides to leave aside her flasks and Bunsen burners to solve the crime herself, much to the chagrin of the local authorities. But who can blame her? What else does an eleven-year-old science prodigy have to do when left to her own devices? With her widowed father and two older sisters far too preoccupied with their own pursuits and passions—stamp collecting, adventure novels, and boys respectively—Flavia takes off on her trusty bicycle Gladys to catch a murderer. In Alan Bradley's critically acclaimed debut mystery, The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, adult readers will be totally charmed by this fearless, funny, and unflappable kid sleuth. But don't be fooled: this carefully plotted detective novel (the first in a new series) features plenty of unexpected twists and turns and loads of tasty period detail. As the pages fly by, you'll be rooting for this curious combination of Harriet the Spy and Sherlock Holmes. Go ahead, take a bite.

This one just sounds like fun. I love a good mystery, especially one infused with fun rather than lots of seriousness. The time period and setting sound perfect for a fun escape from 21st century life. Flavia sounds like an entertaining and intelligent lead character that anyone would want to get to know. And if I can find a series I love, it saves me the hassle of trying to pick another book!



Okay, that's a long enough post, eh? Read anything good lately? Got your eye on a new author or book? I'd love to hear all about it. I'll read almost anything and will likely enjoy it I haven't found a book I hated yet, besides maybe Faust, which I just could not get into. Other than that, I'm a big fat open book, so to speak. Which is why picking just one to read is nearly impossible. So feel free to check out the books I've mentioned and wherever else Amazon leads you. In the meantime, I'll be re-reading reviews and hemming and hawing until I can finally just pick one and start reading. It might take a few days.

The Island

I had downloaded this a few weeks ago, and finally got around to reading it. I've read A Summer Affair by Hilderbrand before, and wasn't a huge fan but decided to try again.

I'm still not a huge fan. This one was about four women -- a mother, her two adult daughters, and the mother's sister -- who escape to a small isolated island. They rough it for a month, with no electricity and the need of someone from Nantucket to bring them groceries and supplies and everything else. While there, they deal with some difficult life events like death and lost love. (I'm sure Amazon could give a much better summary!)

I liked the characters, but I just felt like something was missing.

It was an interesting exploration of the relationships in a family, between mothers and daughters, siblings, aunts and nieces. I don't have a sister and I have a thankfully calm and untroubled relationship with my mom, so I didn't relate as much to the problems and rivalries happening between everyone. Maybe it's a good thing I only have an older brother!

I don't have any real problem with Hilderbrand or the novel, and I would probably read more of her novels, but it just wasn't something that captured my attention from page one and had me tearing through the rest in a rush to find out how it ends. I'm having trouble identifying what exactly was missing for me, but it just didn't reach me as well as similar novels I've read. I would say Jennifer Weiner's novels are pretty similar, and I've loved her works. Especially Good in Bed, which you should read if you haven't. Although Hilderbrand's was an entertaining and interesting novel, it just didn't reach that level of good for me.

It's been called "beach reading", and I think that's pretty accurate. Reading it certainly made me wish I had my own little island to spend lazy summer days on. And although it deals with complicated emotions and life events, it's still light enough for an easy read during the summer. For me, it was just okay. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't "oh my goodness you have to read this right now!" kind of good.

The Island

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the incredible mothers out there. I hear it's the hardest and most rewarding job in the world, and it takes a lot of courage to keep doing it day after day. To those of you who do, you're pretty amazing :)

Since I can't be with my mom on her special day, I figured I'd post some of my favorite pictures and stories instead!



I happen to look a lot like my mom. (I also look a lot like my dad, but I'll save that post for another day). My dad always says we have the same smile. We have really similar personalities and have always gotten along really well.



Like when we're driving from Illinois to California together to move me into my new house while my new husband is still deployed in Japan. Spending days in a car together and a week in a house together doing all the tiring jobs of moving in and making it liveable would test anyone's patience, and we did pretty good at not blowing up at each other!



Even when we had to drive through miles of beef factories. Not the best part of the trip. We left Illinois on January 1st, and surprisingly and thankfully had amazing weather the entire trip. We hit snow in Flagstaff, AZ, but not enough to delay our travels. (Surprisingly, Jeff's and my return trip back from CA - IL was equally wonderful considering we drove home in December, despite some rain in MO and IL. I have no idea how that worked out both times).



My mom and I share a love for musicals. We also have birthdays less than a week apart, so one year it made for easy birthday plans for my dad! He surprised us both with tickets to Wicked. We had both read the book and had been dying to see the musical. We went to Giordano's Pizza (a must in Chicago) and then enjoyed a fantastic musical. Such a fun night in the city!



My mom is a natural with babies. She ran her own daycare for a while when my brother and I were little, and babysat any and every child as we grew up. It's why I'm so comfortable with babies and kids and everything in between, and I have no doubt when I do have kids I'll be calling her every other day for advice about something or other. She has a knack for calming crying babies down; she's one of the few people I know who wants a crying baby in her arms. At my wedding reception, my best friend had recently had her second son, Arik. My mom held him the entire reception, and loved every second of it.



My mom's also the one who fueled my love for animals. Animal Planet was always on our TV growing up, and every Mother's Day we'd go to the zoo. Chicago is blessed with two wonderful zoos, so we'd alternate each year. She and my dad still go to the zoo every year for Mother's day, because he knows how much she loves watching all the animals. She'd spend hours in the gorilla exhibit if she could, but would happily skip the reptile house that was my brother's favorite.



When she and my brother came out to visit me in California (another surprise from my dad for Mother's day! He's great with gifts), we checked out a nearby wildlife conservation center called Cat Haven. It was up in the foothills, about an hour and a half away, and we went right after I picked them up from the airport. We saw the most well-cared for big cats I've ever seen, and closer than any zoo will ever let you go. The animals were well cared for and had large and comfortable enclosures, and each had a relationship with the trainers that led us through the tour. It was an amazing place and I regret only going once while I lived nearby. But, it was a perfect afternoon with my mom and brother, and we loved seeing all the big cats. Like a zoo, but more up close and personal!



When I got married, my mom joked all day that I was joining the "Mrs. B's" in the family! (Both my maiden and married names begin with B) She helped me plan the quick courthouse wedding and laid back reception, she helped me find my dress, she helped make sure the big day was relaxed and wonderful. (I also have a pretty fabulous mother-in-law to my left in the picture!)



There have obviously been a lot more great moments than these few photos, but she's a wonderful mom and a really special person. She repeatedly calms me down when I get frustrated with all the little things in life, she celebrates the great things that happen, and she encourages me to explore and try all that life has to offer. I feel so lucky to have her in my life.



Hope you get a chance to recognize a wonderful mother, or be recognized as a wonderful mother today!

Round 7 - 60 Pictures

I haven't done this in a while, so here you go!

The original list

31. A picture of a tradition you have.



When I think tradition, I think family...and garlic dip. The biggest tradition in my family growing up was getting together and enjoying good food and good company, and it's still my favorite part of the holidays and weddings and whatever other excuse we use for gathering on either side of my family. My dad's side, however, is known for one special recipe at each and every gathering: garlic dip. My dad and aunts bicker about how to prepare it (by hand vs. mixer is a constant argument), all the girl cousins double and tripled dipped the stuff until they had to have their own bowls (the boy cousins were never as crazy about the stuff, which I think is crazy...). It's something that instantly comforts me and makes me think of home and family. I still make it at holidays even if it's just Jeff and me, like Easter most recently. But really, it's the family and laughs and enjoying each other's company over food, rather than the food itself. It's a tradition I intend to continue for years and years. As soon as I'm back in the same country as all my family, anyways!



32. A picture of a crazy night.



I don't really have crazy nights, but this was definitely one of those "whyyyy did you keep drinking???" nights. I had malibu concoctions, beer, gin concoctions, more beer, and thennnn sex on the beaches. I cannot remember how they taste and I've never gotten them before or after, if you're curious. I've only had a handful of hangovers, due to my low count of crazy nights, and this one was a doozy.



33. A picture of the house you grew up in.



This is mid-paint job, but here's the house I grew up in. Due to a brighter than expected blue, everyone knew it as "that blue house". It made directions super easy, and it definitely stood out on the street. My parents recently had new siding installed, so it's a beautiful light gray color now. My brother and I were both planning to visit for Christmas, and we both joked we'd drive right past the house. Then my in-laws came to share a pizza, and they did actually drive right past it. So did my longtime around the corner neighbor and my husband's best friend when he came to visit. It was quite comical!



34. A picture of your currently most played CD.

I haven't played a CD in a long time... I have my iPod and iTunes on my computer.

But lately, I've been playing a lot of country. I really love the voices of Blake Shelton and Dierks Bentley.



And when I need super upbeat music, I've been picking songs like the ones from Burlesque. Cheesy and oh so predictable, but it has fun dance scenes and some killer Christina vocals. And it's impossible not to dance to, which makes things like cleaning the tub bearable.





35. A picture of your favorite place to eat.

A favorite is always impossible for me to pick...so I'll pick one we loved and went to on a regular basis and I am particularly missing. I can replicate pasta and burgers and fried chicken, but Mexican is something I'm not very good at, yet. And I love Mexican whether Americanized or authentic or anything in between, yum.









Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!
It's about over here in Japan, but just starting in America.

American Wife

I bought this book up almost a year ago at Borders, after a handful of times of picking it up, reading the back and contemplating, then putting it back in favor of something else. I bought it a few weeks before a semester started, got 100 pages in, then had to put it aside for school books. I finally got the chance to restart and actually finish it. And I loved it.

I had no idea this was based on Laura Bush when I picked it up. I might not have if I had known, I'm not a big political person. I don't like to talk politics, share my beliefs, or read/hear too deeply about others' beliefs. But this book was fiction so I didn't think anything of it. Based on the book, I think I'd love Laura Bush. I know nothing of her true self, besides being a First Lady. But in the book she's an avid reader, a shy and rather introspective person, born and raised in the Midwest, marries into a boisterous family, works as a librarian because she loves reading to kids, and so on. Basically, I saw a lot of myself in this Alice Lindgren.

The first two sections of the book follow a basic fiction plotline-showing how she grew up and became Mrs. Bush (er, Blackwell). I was drawn in from the beginning (I love her grandma, who does nothing but read and smoke). The third section was the most intriguing, because in it she, Alice, questions her husband's choices in "the war", their decisions and choices leading up to and through the presidency, what it means to become famous and how she deals with it, what a marriage really is and what it asks of the two people in it, and a lot of other big picture topics. As Alice, she doesn't give a lot of answers, just poses the questions, which I find more intriguing. She does answer some things, like why she decided to stay married and how she keeps herself sane despite all the news and tabloids.

I have no idea how much this Alice Lundgren/Blackwell character lines up with Laura Bush, but she's a really powerful character. Maybe I think so because I find myself relating so much to her, but I think anyone can see her as such.

The one thing that distracted me is the author herself. Although the book is written through Alice's eyes and she is a self-proclaimed Democrat, I felt like it was more so the author's self-proclaimed liberal views showing through in a lot of the political content. There wasn't a lot of positive representation of Republican people or beliefs, despite the book being full of them. And each time she did discuss Bush's (Blackwell's) decisions in his presidency, the people he chose to work with, his stance on the war, etc., she displayed him in a negative light, at least in my opinion. The criticism was often through Alice's eyes, but for me, it read as the author's criticisms being pushed into the novel. Charlie Blackwell, aka George Bush, doesn't get much of a chance to show the different sides of his personality, especially during the presidential section of the book. Sittenfeld repeatedly tried to show how endearing Charlie's character was through Alice's eyes, but it felt condescending rather than honest some of the time. Maybe it's impossible to write a book about politics without inserting your own beliefs, but I found it distracting.

Otherwise, I really did love this book. And I love the character Alice Lundgren. And I'm tempted to get some Laura Bush biographies now, just to see how much of her is in this character.

And because I related to the book so much, I marked passages all over the place, so I figured I'd share a few to give you a taste of the writing and characters.

At such moments, I felt that we were like the people in California who live in enormous houses on the sides of cliffs, that our lives are beautiful but precarious, their foundations vulnerable...Life was so hard for so many people, the odds were stacked so precipitously against them. The other adults I knew did not seem overly distressed about the imbalances, and certainly not surprised by them, whereas to me they were constantly surprising, they were never not upsetting.

I did not care if Ella went to Princeton, if she was exceptionally pretty, if she grew up to marry a rich man, or really, if she married at all--there were many incarnations of her I felt confident I could embrace, a hippie or a housewife or a career woman. But what I did care about, what I wanted most fervently, was for her to understand that hard work paid off, that decency begat decency, that humility was not a raincoat you occasionally pulled on when you thought conditions called for it, but rather a constant way of existing in the world, knowing that good and bad luck touched everyone and none of us was fully responsible for our fortunes or tragedies. Above all, I wanted my daughter to understand that many people were guided by bitterness and that it was best to avoid these individuals--their moods and behavior were a hornet's nest you had no possible reason to do anything other than bypass and ignore.

(This last one is long, but I couldn't pass it up, being a Midwest girl at heart. And agreeing full heartedly with the whole 3 paragraph passage.)

Then we were back in Wisconsin, a place that in late summer is thrillingly beautiful. When I was young, this was knowledge shared by everyone around me; as an adult, I've never stopped being surprised by how few of the people with whom I interact have any true sense of the states between Pennsylvania and Colorado. Some of these people have spent weeks or months working in such states, but unless they're midwesterners too, to them the region is nothing but polling numbers and caucuses...these people eat at Perkins, and then they complain about the quality of the restaurants.

Admittedly, the area possesses a dowdiness I personally have always found comforting, but to think of Wisconsin specifically or the Midwest as a whole as anything other than beautiful is to ignore the extraordinary power of the land. The lushness of the grass and trees in August, the roll of the hills (far less of the Midwest is flat than outsiders seem to imagine), that rich smell of soil, the evening sunlight over a field of wheat, or the crickets chirping at dusk on a residential street; All of it, it has always made me feel at peace. There is room to breathe, there is a realness of place. The seasons are extreme, but they pass and return, pass and return, and the world seems far steadier than it does from the vantage point of a coastal city.

Certainly picturesque towns can be found in New England or California or the Pacific Northwest, but I can't shake the sense that they're too picturesque. On the East Coast, especially, these places--Princeton, New Jersey, say, or Farmington, Connecticut--seem to me aggressively quaint, unbecomingly smug, and even xenophobic, downright paranoid in their wariness of those who might somehow infringe upon the local charm. I suspect this wariness is tied to the high cost of real estate, the fear that there might not be enough space or money and what there is of both must be clung to and defended. The West Coast, I think, has a similar self-regard--all that talk of proximity to the ocean and the mountains--and a beauty that I can't help seeing as showy-offy. But the Midwest: It is quietly lovely, not preening with the need to have its attributes remarked on. It is the place I am calmest and most myself.

I really think you'd enjoy this book! It balances the political with growing up, life decisions, marriage and babies, friendships, and all the other things that make politics bearable. And Alice Lindgren/Blackwell is one of my favorite characters in a long time.

Isn't That Funny?

It's turning into one of those days. You know, where nothing works out the way it should and you either have to laugh or cry about it.

I figured I'd share one of the more comical moments of the day.

We've had a cord for the Xbox Live running through the hallway and into the office since we moved in. The 25' cord that was long enough in Lemoore didn't quite reach here, so we had it stretched straight across the hallway and office. You can see it in this still of the video tour I posted recently.



I'm a total klutz, so I was always worried I would trip on it. We had cords running all over the place in our last place for the internet and cable, and I tripped in doorways constantly.

Amazingly, I never once tripped on the cord, despite it being in the middle of the hallway, despite me passing it with arms full of laundry or garbage or whatever else, despite my inclination to trip and fall and spill things. Not once.



We finally ordered a longer cord and some clips to nail it into the floor, so I went to work doing that today. It doesn't blend in too well and it doesn't look that great, but we use Xbox Live every day so it's worth it. And at least it was out of the middle of the hallway.



And wouldn't you know it, the first time I cross the cord to bring a basket of clothes to the laundry room, I trip big time and flail frantically to prevent bashing my head into the washing machine. Clothes went flying, the ironing board bashed into my shoulder, and the nicely nailed down cord came flying up.

After months of treacherous loose cord, I nail it down to prevent trippage and nearly kill myself seconds later.

Isn't that funny?

I was just glad I didn't manage to injure myself. I walked away and came back a few hours later to nail it down again. This time I added more nails in hope that I won't do it again.



That's how my day's going today. So I'm calling it quits and pulling a meal out of the freezer and watching a movie on the couch.

Chopped

I got this crazy idea in my head that I could cut my own hair. It looks so easy when the stylists do it, right?



I had unruly bangs and layers in desperate need of a trim and was feeling the need to chop my hair shorter. I thought about getting an a-line at some salon, but finding a salon and trusting someone that may not speak my language very well not to screw up my hair scared me. A lot. Last time I had my hair cut, the lady butchered my bangs and I think a language barrier had a lot to do with that. So this crazy idea started, and I pulled out the scissors.

After a HUGE mess in the bathroom (hair does not sweep off of textured tile very well) and a lot more time than I've ever spent in a stylist's chair, I got this:



Certainly not perfect, but I have to say it looks pretty good for doing it myself. It took some contortionist moves and some tricky mirror play to be able to trim the back of my head myself. And I took a big gulp before attempting layers, fully expecting to do something horrendous and have to run to the salon tonight to get it fixed. But I managed to get my ends fairly even, do some layering that looks close to how it looks when I walk out of a salon, and trim my bangs without butchering them even more. Yay!



It may not be perfect, but for $0, I'll take it. It's still long enough to pull up and out of the way, but all the unhealthy ends are gone. I can't stop touching it because it is SO soft with all that damage chopped.



Not bad for a couple hours and some flexible arms, huh?

The Gravedigger's Daughter

I recently finished Joyce Carol Oates's The Gravedigger's Daughter. I've been stewing on it for a bit because as usual, Oates finishes with an open ending and leaves you with a lot of mixed emotions. And I generally stew for a day or two before I decide how I feel about a book. I always hated walking into class the morning after plowing through a novel and having to answer the question "So what'd you think?!"


But, I have to say, I was enthralled with this one. Rebecca is such a strong female lead, and Oates does a really amazing job of making you connect with her yet still leaving her a big mystery. You care, but you don't always understand what's making her tick, even if you think you do. There's so much interwoven into the plot, you could talk for days about all the themes and story lines that pop up. Female identity, male violence, racial differences, financial differences, geographical differences, love, motherhood, etc. etc. etc. It's a book that as soon as I finished, my fingers itched to plot out themes and discussions on paper. For me, that's a sign that the book reached me and got me thinking.

You don't have to read it so deep though. At its base, the book is a story about a girl surviving. Surviving murder, surviving abuse, surviving motherhood, surviving life. Like I said, I was captivated by Rebecca. I think Oates is an author that provokes more questions than she gives answers, at least from the selection I've read. The plot isn't the predictable "girl figures out who she is after some typical boy-girl hardships", and the answers don't come easy for Rebecca. There's a sense of triumph and its costs, and the sacrifices one must make for "the better life".

I can't tell you exactly what it is, but Joyce Carol Oates is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. I've read Black Water and Blonde, as well as a small selection of her short stories. I'm always captivated by her writing and her characters. While I love my fluff, I really love a book that makes you question. I think Oates is a master of creating a world where there are more questions than answers, and the reader is searching for the answers as eagerly as the character.

This is probably a vague review of the book, but I'm trying not to give too much of the plot away. I was going to quote the Amazon review, but I feel like it gives a bunch of spoilers that are better left unknown. (Note: don't read the Amazon editorial reviews! Go to a bookstore and read the book's jacket instead). And then go back and buy the book on Amazon, because it's currently only $6.40, and I promise I paid more than that when I bought it at Borders a few months back.

I don't think your taste in books matters much, almost anyone could find something they love in this book. So read it. And then pick up some more Joyce Carol Oates. I'm slowly compiling a list of books and authors I need to read (I'm at the stage where I'm thinking I should start this list), and I'm fairly certain finishing all of Oates's novels will be on that list.

Oh, and if you're not ready for such a hefty read, try Black Water instead. It's loosely based on a popular Kennedy (think senator and tragic car accident/drowning), and it's an astounding work. I.could.not.put.it.down. And it's short, so you could knock it out in an afternoon if you wanted to.

Basically, I really think you should try reading Joyce Carol Oates. And I'm so captivated by The Gravedigger's Daughter, I don't even know what to say about it besides read it! You'll love it, or at least have very strong emotions in response to it.